In the decades following WWII, it became apparent that the things that the rest of the world blamed Germany for were really endemic to most of the western world, that everyone had – in obvious and not so obvious ways – participated in the ‘constellation’ that finally blew up and caused so much destruction. It has become difficult, since then, to point a finger and lay blame completely on one country’s shoulders.
Although this gun violence we all abhor is so much an American thing, and this has been repeatedly pointed out by people from other countries in the last week, I wonder if the world isn’t too small now to be considered in terms of ‘us and them’.
For those of us who have done the Family Constellation work, the US is like some violent big brother that everyone loves to disavow when the violence spills over. I wonder how all the members of this planetary family contribute to this big brother’s dysfunction. Although I don’t know the answers to this question, just asking it in this way opens me up to feel great sorrow for the dysfunctional one, and to think of ways to bring him into the fold rather than pointing the finger. It is a very frightening feeling in some ways, because the sorrow for the brother is overwhelming and the rest of us feel so helpless. But I have done enough work to know that this might be a first step if we have the courage to take it.