Many years ago, I told someone that I hate money – I hate talking about it, thinking about it, worrying about it. She said, “That’s a second chakra problem.” So, knowing how many other second chakra issues I have had to work with, I set out to work with this one. Money is energy. Our relationship with the world. An externalization of an internal relationship. I began to notice ebb and flow and all my reactions to both. I learned how to become a part of the flow and not a holding or empty point.
I was “lucky” that at this time several other second chakra issues began to clear up as well. Physical and psychic – if there’s a distinction to be made. Like each birth matrix in the Holotropic model, each chakra is a doorway into a vast universe and healing this universe in myself has been such interesting work. Hard work, too – but it’s so much fun as all the layers unfold and I can see, clean, clear, admire, and grow into each layer.
Now, I am coming up against the money-energy-second-chakra-learn-to-trust-the-ebb-and-flow moment again. Perhaps the big one. So far, I have been able to grit my teeth, clench my fist and keep moving through. A little openness has gone a long way so that energy has been more available, and I have been able to weather the empty times knowing that the flow will come around again. But now, I want to change how I make a living, and I am so afraid, because it means that I will have to change my relationship with everything.
Twice a month, I get a paycheck. This comes with health insurance, vision insurance, dental insurance. I can afford to get my teeth cleaned, cavities filled, new contact lenses, and an ECG when I suddenly think I need it. Blood work, colonoscopy, hormone level testing, pap smears. All worth every minute I spend on my commute, every workplace tension, every overtime hour at work. Forget the stuff I can buy with my paycheck – a car, a house, food, college tuition – these are not necessities compared to health care. Remember the movie Elysium? Will I live on the grubby, grabby earth or on that beautiful turning resort-like planet of those who can pay for good health?
The second chakra rests in the web of life. We are connected through it, with it, in it. It is Life as we carry it in us. As I wrote the previous paragraph, I could feel some despair settling in the gut – this country has a second chakra problem. We do not take care of each other. We do not honor the web of life. We cannot rest in the interconnectedness of all consciousness. We have built a society in which only the third chakra – the seat of the ego – is honored. Such imbalance will destroy us. Is destroying us. The healthcare problem is symptom and proof. Our inability to find a good solution that will keep human beings healthy and in the flow of life is indicative of deep second-chakra dysfunction.
A chakra is unhealthy or dysfunctional when it is not open. Like points on a meridian, it remains healthy as long as it is open. If something causes a blockage, or an emptiness, then the health of the organism is impaired. Flow implies constant movement. The second something grabs on, flow is interrupted.
According to Biblical lore, the lilies in the field neither toil nor spin because a Gardener fertilizes, waters, and prunes. If we were supposed to be taken care of by some Gardener in the sky, we should all be like lilies: vegetables. But we are not. We have in us and in this world all the resources we need to take care of every human on the planet and the planet itself, and we have the intellectual capacity to do this. Only, we refuse to do it. If one percent keeps most of the resources, then there can be no flow – only emptiness and starvation on the one hand and glut on the other. Neither is healthy, not that I expect anyone to believe that.
In fact, now that I think about it, Matthew 6:28 – the passage about the lilies – is a bunch of baloney. It gives one the impression that the lilies do nothing but stand around while the Gardener in the sky takes care of them. In fact, they are busy giving and taking nutrients in the soil, exchanging with the bees, inhaling carbon dioxide, exhaling oxygen, creating nitrogen when they decompose. We are the lilies and we are the gardeners and it’s the constant movement of resources and nutrients that manages to keep us all alive. Interdependent instead of dependent.
This is not an Occupy rant. Because while we point a finger at this or that one percent, our third chakras grow and swell, absorbing important energy from all other chakras. Instead, one person at a time, healing, opening, allowing the flow, not grabbing – that seems to be the way. Each point of connection on the web settling into give and take. That might work. Becoming a gardener, each blade of grass a beauty to be tended. And trust? Trust the gardener in each of us, trust the soil, trust the exchange, trust the connection, trust the trust.
Coming back to my fear of changing how I make a living, I’ll first need to reject or rewrite the story of the lilies in the field. I can inhale and exhale. I can exchange nutrients and resources. I can barter with the bees and reflect dew off my petals. And fear – that will be the poison that I will mix into the soil. Sometimes, a little poison becomes really great fertilizer.